


If Not In This Universe, Then The Next.

by Tay144



Category: Lovecraft Country (TV)
Genre: F/F, angst???, no actual ruby just mentions of her and their relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27259873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tay144/pseuds/Tay144
Summary: Christina has some time to really think about her actions.A short fic, but I hope it's long enough to make a point.
Relationships: Ruby Baptiste/Christina Braithwhite
Comments: 7
Kudos: 50





	If Not In This Universe, Then The Next.

**Author's Note:**

> So while I absolutely despise the finale and the way our girls lives and relationship ended I really wanted to write this. And this is in NO WAY me accepting what happened in canon because I just can't. 
> 
> Might be a bit cliche but I still liked the idea. Anyway I hope my fellow clowns ( and/or weirdos in the discord) somewhat enjoy this.

They’ve taken _everything_ away. Her immortality, her magic, her family, her Ruby and quite possibly (very soon perhaps) her life. Because she's dying. _Slowly_. _It's agonizingly slow_. But she _is_ dying. With every ragged and rattling breath she takes, the pile of broken stone only sinks that much further down onto her chest. She tried moving, tried for hours, tried mustering up whatever phantom strength left from William that she could but she wasn't getting free. And even if she could move, she was sure there was something broken, something bleeding internally. The blood she coughed up every now and then proving that as fact. And maybe, just maybe this was what she deserved.

It had been three hours at least, she wasn't exactly sure but she could tell by the change in the moon, the clouds, the stars and this chilly fucking wind that a good chunk of time had passed. No one was coming for her, not even (or should she say especially not) the townspeople she'd grown up alongside. They didn't care. They never did. No one truly had until _her_. 

_There it is._ She gasps, gulping for air like a fish out of water and chokes again, emotions welling up inside her chest, not doing anything to aid the blood slowly filling her lungs. " _Fuck_." She sputters, blood forming at the corners of her mouth. She desperately tries blinking the tears away. Her trapped hands flexing on instinct only making her yelp in pain. "Help. Anybody. Please." She tries again. Her voice barely at a whisper by this point. No one was going to hear her.

Her vision is hazy, just barely making out some dark clouds and a bright moon and honestly she can't tell if it’s from lack of oxygen or from the tears now springing and flowing freely. Maybe even a bit of both. The tears roll down the sides of her face, washing away some dried streaks of blood. They were warm -a stark contrast to the chilly night- and salty, stinging some cuts and bruises she honestly didn't know she had until this very moment. It was also then that she was sadly reminded once again what being mortal feels like. No Mark of Cain to be her life preserver when she needed it most. She'd by lying if she didn't say that being immortal, even for those few seconds felt absolutely amazing.

But this? Being mortal again hurts. And not just in a physical way. No just in a slowly being crushed by a ton of bricks way. This time it's a different kind of hurt. A pain unlike any other pain she's ever felt and _fuck_ _has she felt pain_. No, this pain comes from ~~losing~~...killing someone, probably the only someone who ever truly ~~_cared_~~...loved her. 

She sighs shakily. She allowed her end goal to cloud her judgement. To get in the way of her life. She thought immorality WAS her life. Doing and achieving the impossible and not letting anything or anyone stand in her way. Not even Ruby. It wasn't right and probably made no sense to anyone but herself, well maybe the backstabbing members of The Order.

She was just so fucking angry. The second she let her icy guard down, let herself become distracted, let herself _feel_ she was betrayed. She'd never killed anyone with her own hands before. And honestly she was lucky she blacked out for most of it because laying here, with nothing but her thoughts and memories. She'd been fucked had she'd been able to remember what exactly she had done. But just the thought of knowing she had indeed taken the life of her lover was enough. And no matter what she said to Leti or Tic, to make herself feel better or to justify her actions, it was all her fault. She'd done this. All of this.

The emotion washed over her again, she couldn't help the shudder that rocked through her body and consequently she cried out at the resulting pain. "I'm...so...sorry." She sobbed. She's never had to apologize to anyone in her life. Her own father even scoffed at her when she would. Telling her it was weak and that she needed to be and do better in the future. It feels foreign yet so right. And despite the crushing weight on her chest she feels nothing but relief. Fresh tears spring free, and its the lowest she's ever felt. _Another first_. She chuckles (more like wheezes) through the tears and the pain. Look at her now. Alone, dying, fucking devastated and destroyed because she killed _her_... _her Ruby_ for a lifetime of firsts. The universe did love a good joke. No matter how dark it was. 

"I shouldn't have....hurt you. I'm so sorry." She cries again to herself. Her breathing is labored and honestly just saying those few words took so much out of her but she had to voice it. Even if she was talking into the void she still hoped. Wherever she was Ruby could hear her. "I loved you.....I-I....lo-love you." Her vision fades. The darkness at the corners of her eyes rapidly closing in. But right before she goes she wishes, prays to whatever god, whatever entity, whatever deity that happens to be listening. Just one more time to see her love. If not in this universe, then the next. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are of course greatly appreciated. I hope you guys enjoyed (well guess that's the wrong word but ) this little fic.


End file.
